Posted by: bravo22c | 12/06/2010

I lost my moisturiser.

On my way back from Bucharest to Moscow I had to transit through Munich. Since it was a short trip, I was travelling with hand-carried luggage only. In my washing kit I had a bottle of moisturiser. (After 25 years of running around in the open, the first seven in a semi-permanent haze of diesel smoke, if I don’t moisturise regularly I turn into a remarkably good stand-in for the amazing Lizard Man.)

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So, the female monkey at Munich Airport security confiscated my moisturiser. OK, it was my own fault, I am a (very) frequent traveller and usually organised so that I pass through security with the minimum of hassle. The only metal on my body is in my teeth, even my watch and belt buckle are plastic. So, fair’s fair, I broke the rules. The rules, however, are stupid, as any sensible person has probably guessed by now. You all know that this is my game and, should you wish to smuggle weapons or explosives onto an aeroplane, give me a bell and I’ll tell you exactly how you can do it, with much less hassle than you get going through airport security.

What this all means, of course, is that the terrorists are winning the game hands down. So little is necessary to terrorise the wimps of the West. A free-lance whacko hides a bomb of sorts in his shoe and the powers that be go into hysterical overreaction and long queues of passengers line up like sheep to remove their shoes in front of some minimum wage monkey who wouldn’t recognise a terrorist if he turned up with a knife between his teeth and an AK over his shoulder. Another dipstick high on superstition smuggles liquid explosive onto an aeroplane so the bureaucrats decree that Bravo22C’s moisturiser must be confiscated. Yes, we are afraid of Nivea. Then another nutter decides to hide some explosive in his skiddies, so, ladies, you will now be subjected to aforesaid monkeys leering over your curves as you pass through the pantie-scanners.

The initiative lies with the terrorist. Find some gullible jerk, brainwash him into blowing himself to bits for the glory of allah, set him off on some improbable course of action and watch the brainless Westerners put their own through all the unneccessary contortions you can imagine because the effective course of action would be discriminatory and would infringe the yooman rights of the people it should be aimed at.

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